Fuck It! We’re Going to Phuket.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist the bad title-pun, though I now know it’s actually pronounced “poo-kit.”

Anyway, for years I had heard that if I ever made it to Thailand, Phuket was the place to go to have fun.

So, despite having done all that research on tours in Krabi, Carrie and I changed our plans and headed to the resort town of Patong on the island of Phuket. Our budget hotel options were limited, so we treated ourselves to a nice AC room with TV, DVD player (that we didn’t use once), fridge and free wi-fi: all for the sky-high price of $14 per night. Imagine that back home!

What Does Patong, Phuket, Look Like?

Patong is just like any other resort town in the world: completely devoid of local culture and existing solely to fulfill the fantasies of the visiting tourists. The streets are lined with people selling everything from fake Rolexes to bootleg movies, tee shirts, knick knacks, Thai massages, tours gourmet meals and meat on a stick…all at the lowest possible prices.

Walking down these streets is like walking through a gauntlet, as every single person wants your money and gets in your face to ask if you want what they have.

Every five feet a 7-Eleven sells tourists of all ages snacks, water and beer, which they walk down the street consuming at all hours. There are bars and clubs everywhere, but nowhere is more prominent than Bangla Road, which is the main draw of nightlife in Patong.

Some alleys literally have a bar every 10 feet, each with dancing girls on the tables … though many of the girls are actually men. Foreigners and locals alike move from place to place until the wee hours of the morning when the street shuts down until the next night.

Some videos from our experience in Patong, Phuket: